Lullaby of Broadway 2 - Roger Davis recap

2009-10-08T16:04:32Z

In Lullaby of Broadway 2, I played Roger Davis from Rent. Roger was merged with Christian from Moulin Rouge.

The following is a stream-of-consciousness recap of the weekend. I’m sure some things are out of order and others omitted. Things in brackets are songs or parts of songs.

Well, here I am. Made it as a rocker and threw it away, mostly through a needle and into my arm. Year ago, girlfriend April left me a note, “We’ve got AIDS”, then slit her wrists. Crashed, pulled out by friends and strangers, clean for six months, and now – nothing. Who am I and what am I doing? Living on borrowed time. Will I leave anything behind when I’m gone?

Maybe a song [“One Song Glory”] - but it won’t come. Old song inspirations don’t work anymore, and what do I have now?

One bright candle: Mimi Marquez. Amazing girl. Beautiful, dances like an angel. She likes me. Can’t let her get too close. Thoughts of April, working on staying clean, HIV-positive – too much baggage for anyone. Feels great to be around her. Wondering when she’ll get frustrated and go.

Mark Cohen, journalist best friend, thinks I should get together a band for this Battle of the Band contest. Not interested. Barely started practicing again, not ready to put it out there. Mark’s hiding behind the camera even more than usual. Probably ‘cause of Maureen, his ex who dumped him and went lezzie. She’s got this Rally for the Homeless thing tomorrow; he’ll have to be there to cover it.

Collins, our resident philosopher, supposed to be here – he’s late, not like him. Talked about rent with Mark. Three grand for last year and this year, no way we can come up with that. That bastard Benny, thought he was our friend, thought he would let us stay on for free. Nobody has a plan to come up with any money. Fuck Benny, he used to be cool.

Collins came in – his coat’s gone, and he looks bad. Turns out some guys beat him up, took his coat. Shit, he loved that coat! Loft is freezing, too. Angel found him, helped him get back here. Don’t know what Tom would do without Angel. Angel’s the best person I know, would help anyone anywhere, always cheerful too.

Mimi comes in, and the whole place feels warmer. Every time I see her, she looks at me as if nothing else in the world existed, and for a little while I can forget everything. It can’t last, but it feels good.

Go on out, meet up with Tony. Knew him from before I moved away. He was always a little more grown up than the other kids his age. We catch up a little. He’s so up that I ask him who’s the girl. He won’t say, but he sure has stars in his eyes. Lucky girl, wonder who she is.

Go to the Moulin Rouge to meet with Cliff Bradshaw, since we have to work together on a show. Little awkward, never had a collaborator. He’s kind of stiff at first but loosens up and seems okay. Cliff wants to learn some basic guitar. Ask why, turns out it’s for romance. Hey, I got into guitar for the same reason. What’s her name? Turns out it’s a guy. That’s cool, but a little surprising – thought Cliff and Sally Bowles were an item. I show him some chords.

Went down to Avenue Q, said hi to Gary Coleman. Everybody likes Gary. He seemed his usual annoyed self.

Met up with Bobby Strong, a childhood buddy who I haven’t seen in years. He’s same old Bobby, honest and hard-working and expects the best from everybody. Sooner or later the world is going to fuck him up, but I like him. He introduces me to his girlfriend, Emma Cladwell, who he says went to the most expensive university in the world. That’s gotta be the daughter of the pigfucker CEO of Urine Good Company. What a train wreck. Hope it drives old Dad crazy before he puts out the contract on Bobby.

Went to the Sock Hop with some of the gang. Danced with a couple of girls to be polite, spent the rest of the evening with Mimi. Feels great to hold her in my arms, but by this point she’s got to be wondering why it hasn’t gone any further and I’m not sure I can tell her. Beg off for a few minutes, bump into Tony again, talk about it. He says Mimi has it bad for me. Shit, he’s probably right. Not sure what to do.

Step out into the hall into a side room with Mimi to talk about whatever. I should tell her, I should tell her… but no. Then my beeper goes off. I reach for my meds and she does too. [“You? Me.”] Fuck, she’s HIV+ too. Start to say something, then just pull her close. The kiss is like fireworks. We find a bedroom nobody is using.

Still broke and don’t amount to squat, but while Mimi’s around, it’s not cold and it doesn’t hurt. How fucking lucky is that? Still no bets on it lasting, but it’s terrific for now.

Doing someone a favor, take a package into the prison for Roxy. She’s in for killing her boyfriend, and I expected a class A bitch, but she’s not, though she’s pissed at Seymour for giving her messed up flowers. Think maybe being in jail for a while makes you need people, maybe she’ll go back to her version of normal when she leaves.

Mimi’s hanging around with Benny way too much. Ask her about it. She’s not interested in him, she says, just trying to put him off about the money. You sure? Yes, she says. I believe her, I think. He’s got a lot of money.

See Bernardo on the street. Know him pretty well since I met Mimi. We hit it off great. I’m a white guy but I get a pass ‘cause I’m with Mimi and I’m broke. He doesn’t hold my education against me and I’ve met a lot of street people and learned to respect what they have to do to get by. He’s lucky to have such a strong family thing going. It also helps that his best friend is Chino, who is Angel’s brother.

Mimi’s got a bruise. Ask her about it. She says she got into an argument with Orrin Scrivello, who’s a dentist. They used to go out, but it’s over now. Ask if she’s sure. She says yes. Don’t know what to think. Don’t like the look of that guy. Trying to tangle with him would probably make things worse, not better, and I couldn’t handle it if going after him made Mimi defend him. Shit.

See Mimi later – she’s unsteady. Look at her close, she’s high as a kite, laughing. Pick her up and take her to the loft, leave her for Collins and Angel to take care of. Furious. Knew there had to be something wrong. Who’s her pusher: Benny or Scrivello? And how long has she been fucking him for drugs? Punch door, hurt my hand. Miserable. Guys tell me to wait for her to come down, but I can’t. Go for a long walk.

I’m a fucking idiot, should have known better. Knew this was messed up. Too much baggage. I go get myself lost in other people’s problems, anything to distract. Fuck.

Mimi finds me. She’s down now, and sorry. Yell at her. Fucking using when she knows I used to be an addict, fucking the pusher for all I know, and lying to me. She says she didn’t mean to lie, and she’s not sleeping with Benny or Scrivello. Who’s the damn pusher then? It’s Scrivello. Bastard. Tell her how I should have known better from personal experience that you can’t trust a junkie. Mimi says she’s not a junkie, that she just uses every once in a while when things get bad. That’s a fucking junkie excuse, I used it in the past. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. Push her away and walk.

Marc and Collins find me, try to persuade me to give Mimi another chance. I tell them you can’t trust a user. She’ll fuck me over again next time she gets a craving. Can’t stand the idea of anybody else’s hands on her, drives me crazy.

Mimi finds me again. She won’t give up. She talks and talks and touches me and seems so real, so warm and close. Want to believe her so much. So I do, even knowing it might be stupid, no reason to trust. She asks how she can make it up to me. Not sure, then remember that crazy Elephant room over the Moulin Rouge. Ask her to meet me there tonight. Know Zidler will pitch a fit, but fuck him.

We meet there. I want to talk about us, about love. She’s preoccupied with real life. But damn it, this is a fantasy room and I want a fantasy, and she comes around. It’s fucking Magic, every sense of the word. [“Elephant Love Medley”, I love that song]

Saturday

Early AM, want to get Mimi some flowers, just because. Still broke, but maybe I can give Seymour some advice or play so he can sing his girl Audrey a song. He makes me up a nice bouquet. While he’s doing it, he’s talking about Audrey and how to impress her, and I figure I owe him so I listen. And he says, about something, “I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do” and a flash pops in my head. That feels like a song lyric. So I start to talk it out with Seymour, good to have a sounding board. Has to be a love song. What would it be about? You wouldn’t want to call your love “the best I can do”, and you don’t give crappy gifts. It has to be something unique, like a kid’s drawing – the best he can do is terrific, because it’s from him. But what? And Seymour says, “maybe a song?” and that’s it. Better than any bunch of flowers. It’s not _the_ song, the one to leave behind, but it’ll be a great gift. Going to call it Your Song.

Seymour asks me to look at some strange plants in the basement that he doesn’t recognize. After making sure it’s not another one of those creepy Audrey II things (swear that thing is twice the size it was a couple days ago), go down there. It’s fucking marijuana. Taste a little – it’s top-of-the-chart potent, maybe one of those g-mod varieties I’ve heard about. Tell Seymour, in all sincerity, that we’ve got to get them out of here, that if the cops find them, they’ll arrest him for drug dealing and close the shop. He’s happy for me to take them away.

Take them up to the loft, but not long after Marc tells me that the cops have been harassing him on suspicion of drugs and agree to move them again. And think, who might hide these for me just because I asked? Bobby Strong! He’s probably got a good place to hide them. He’s kind of pure, so he might say no, but at least he won’t tell.

Find him, and to my surprise he’s not just willing, but enthusiastic. He just has one question. Brace myself for whatever naïve thing he’s about to say. Then he asks if he can have a little! Turns out Bobby likes his weed, who knew? And he seemed like such a nice kid. Laugh and say sure.

Give Roxy the flowers to make up for the ones Seymour squashed. She’s crazy to get her name out there. She sings pretty well and a lot of people know about her. And writing Mimi’s song has made me feel a lot better about picking up the guitar again. Decide to join the Battle of the Bands, ask Roxy if she wants to front. She jumps on it, as I figured she might. Gonna call the group Roxy and the Bad Boys. Need to get Angel to drum. He’s terrific, and I get from Collins that he’s getting sick. Never played with him before, this is my last chance, not going to miss it even if it’s just a contest gig.

Meet up with Maureen before her Rally, Marc and Collins and others are there too. She’s still number one crazy, though the homeless thing is sincere. Benny offered to cancel the rent if we screwed up the rally. Marc and I talk about it, decide that doing something like this would make us too much like Benny and we can’t. So we’re fucked, but at least we’re not fuckers.

Maureen does her rally. Emma Goldman gives a short speech that really takes on the powers that be. She’s really talking to workers, not people like me, but she gives a good speech. Maureen then recites one of the damnedest pieces of poetry I’ve heard while not on drugs. It involves cows. People seem to like it.

Meet up with Mimi during the rally. After it’s done, say I have something for her. We go off to the park, and I sing it for her [“Your Song”]. Think she liked it. Think she especially liked that it was just hers.

Later, talking with Roxy in jail, Mimi comes over to talk. See Benny with… Mimi? WTF? Mimi #2 ditches Benny and comes over, says she’s Cliff done up as Mimi. It’s possible, he’s thin like she is. Bet you can’t tell us apart, says one of them! Bet I can. And kiss them both. Tell Cliff he kisses like a fish. Everybody laughs. Cliff hangs out as Mimi for a little. Real Mimi goes to take care of something, Cliff and I talk about the show tomorrow. Lockstock comes over, starts with the usual line of BS, then calls Cliff/Mimi a crack whore. Tell him he’s a liar, he says she fucks men for drugs, what do I call it. Say that makes Lockstock a money whore, cause he fucks people for money, asshole. Get arrested and thrown in jail, ‘course. Collins posts my bail.

Angel agrees to drum, great! Ask Mark and Collins to fill in on Bass, go down and register the group. Need to talk to the judges now, find out what they like. Corny Collins likes music with a beat you can dance to, stuff teenagers like. Dr. Frank N. Furter says he likes rock, the harder the better. Figures. Angela Von Tussle likes dance music, but nothing too vulgar. Motormouth Maybelle, I hear likes basic rock too but has a chip on her shoulder ‘cause the radio station only lets her spin “black” music. Hear that Angela von T. doesn’t much favor bands that don’t have her daughter in them, so decide to go for the other three. Show the song list to Roxy, see what she knows. Pick a solid Beatles tune for Corny, an R&B-derived number for Maybelle (gotta play to the audience). For Dr. Frank, hm. I have the impression that he wants a tune that not just rocks, it hurts. Got it! “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette. We’re ready!

Bump into Coalhouse Walker, who’s convinced I trashed his venue during a concert. Didn’t but I have no way in hell to provide that, so will try to find the money to pay him. Maybe Seymour’s MJ can help. Decide to ask Bernardo if he knows a connection. Turns out he deals, but never in his own neighborhood. He agrees to put the word out.

Mimi and I doing okay. She asks me what she can do for me. We’ve got to rehearse parts of Spectacular, Spectacular and I know she’s supposed to have some knockout outfit for it, so I ask her to rehearse in it so I can enjoy it. She smiles at that. But she says, the costume jewelry that goes with the outfit is crap, and asks if I can get her something really nice. Something real. Say sure, but inside, I’m thinking, shit. Can’t afford anything close to that.

Just then Edna Turnblad comes by. She wants me to give a talk to some of the high school students about the dangers of drugs, especially “shooting up pot”. Try not to roll eyes. Point out that you don’t shoot up pot, but clearly she doesn’t really get it, so let that drop. Really not interested. Talking about your addiction is like opening a vein. Tell her that. Hard enough to do with friends or people who are trying to help you. For a bunch of kids? Forget it. Then she offers money. A lot of money, a quarter grand. Not enough to deal with any of my problems, though. But I remember Mimi’s gift, and ask her about the necklace. Done she says, and fifteen minutes later, she’s back with one. It’s beautiful. Agree to give the talk, but not about pot, for damn sake. Pot’s not what got me into trouble anyway, it wouldn’t be sincere. Dreading it, but making Mimi happy is worth it.

Time’s coming up pretty short for the gang in the loft. Nobody’s got anything like three grand, and Benny won’t back down. And then Angel, dear sweet fucking Angel, comes to the rescue. He comes in a reached into his bucket and pulls out bill after bill, we can’t believe it! Nobody can. Am a little weirded out – know Angel wouldn’t touch drug money, but where did he get so much? And he tells us. Turns out he happened on a woman with more money than anything who had it in for her neighbor’s yappy little dog, who barked at any noise. The lady said if Angel would play non-stop all day long, she was sure that the dog would bark itself right to death. Angel did it, and sure enough, the dog got into such a frenzy that it took a header from a high window. And so here was Angel with the cash! [“Today for you, tomorrow for me”] Amazing. Magic.

Mark knows I’m trying to get something on Scrivello and he gives me a tape of him beating the shit out of Lucy Harris. Want to make sure it’s not play-acting, so ask Trekkie Monster about it and he says it looks real. Talk to Billy Flynn to see if he knew any unsavory characters that might break Scrivello’s knees. He said he only defends innocent women, but suggested that perhaps some of the kids form the bad part of town might know.

So talk to Bernardo. He and I confer, then he breaks into Scrivello’s office at night and we plant some illegal urine I got from Facility #8 through Bobby. Bernardo will have someone tip off Lockstock. Have no faith in the cops doing much, but they seem to enforce the urine laws pretty hard.

Gotta go to Life Support meeting. Know how important these are, they keep people alive, keep them from giving up. But hate them too. Reminders that I could get sick any time, before I do my song or anything. Reminders of people that have already died. Reminders of April, of Angel who is getting thinner and tires easy. [“Life Support”]

Time for the rehearsal of Spectacular, Spectacular! Meet Sally Bowles. Cliff likes her, I think, but not sure if they are an item anymore. She’s pretty full of herself, but she’s got talent. Roxy’s on the bill too, to sing while Mimi dances.

Mimi Dances. Oh. My. Fucking. God. A dress that lights up the room with those sparklers I got her adding in. And then she starts to move, and they could have had a shootout in the hall and I wouldn’t have noticed. Clapped till my hands hurt and just sat there after as she plopped down on my lap. Had no words, but hopefully my dopey smile told it all.

She went off to change and coughed into a handkerchief, and I saw blood. More than a little too. And she was heaving just a little bit too much. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Maybe it’s just a nosebleed or something. Don’t think she noticed that I saw. Don’t say anything.

Manage to grab rehearsal time for the Battle of the Bands and herd band members and judges down to the hall. Talk to Roxy about "You oughta know". I figure she’s angry enough to do it, but I want to make sure. “Can you spew venom enough to hit the tenth row?” She smiles.

Talking about guitars while on break for BoB, Amber Von Tussle sighs and looks up at me kind of crush-looking. Nice kid. Good to meet kids who really like music, understand it a little.

Play for Corny [“Hard Days Night”]. Talk up Beatles R&B roots for Maybelle, she seems to like that and our playing [“I Saw Her Standing There”].

Time for Alanis and Dr. Frank. Roxy’s all by herself at the beginning of this tune, and she lays into it fine. Her technique is okay, but her attitude is prime, and that counts more. She sprays the lyrics out there right into Frank’s lap and I think he likes it. My axe feels natural, like I never put it down, and I grind it like I’m going to break it in half. It’s a blast! Angel terrific as always, Marc and Collins full of juice, having a great time. Hope judges liked it. After it all feel really up, positive in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.

Raul comes by, asks me about a map my father had of the sewers. That fucker was transported for child abuse when I was little and I hope he’s dead. Told Raul as much, and think it took him kind of aback. Fucking dad worked for the UGC, but never mentioned any map.

Saw Tony talking with a girl with nobody else around. This must be the one, great! Can’t wait to rib him about it. She looks familiar, kind of… Shit! That’s Mimi’s younger sister Maria! She’s poison for Tony, ‘cause of the bad blood between the Jets and the Sharks. Puerto Rican men are crazy protective about their younger sisters, and Bernardo’s no exception. If he finds out, he’ll react really badly, certainly try to hurt Tony, maybe kill him, and get Maria locked away. I can talk to Bernardo about a lot of things, but not this. Shit.

Found Riff, talked about Tony. Riff knows about Maria, expected that. Neither of us could figure what to do. Tony’s over the moon, not going to listen to any reasons. Maybe lie to Maria, tell her Tony’s leading her on, two-timing her? Hate the idea, but better she should get her heart broken by a lie than by her brother killing Tony. Thought about it and thought about it and decided to tell Mimi. Maybe she could break them up, talk to Maria, do something. She was pretty upset, agreed that Bernard couldn’t know. She went to talk to Maria, but no dice, the girl is as gone as Tony is, won’t listen to any reasons true or false.

Heard about rumble from Tony and Riff. Well, if they have to fight better it’s a fist fight. Glad Tony could talk them into it. Not my fight, can’t take sides, but I’ve gotta see it when it happens.

Marc and the Emcee come talk to me, ask me some odd questions. They’re acting all weird, like they are tripping. LSD, maybe? Can’t deal with that, so answer their questions best I can and move on.

Angel is in the hospital. We rush there. We’ve seen this coming, but it’s still a shock. So full of life, now hardly moving. Angel still upbeat. Collins almost frozen.

Angel dies. Another one gone. One of the best. Maybe the best. Feels like someone’s grabbed a few ribs and pulled them right out. I hold Mimi, or maybe she holds me. Funeral soon after. Short, hard. Don’t remember the words much. How can someone be here now, then just gone? Why Angel, not me? No answers.

Back to the loft, lie down with Mimi, try to sleep.

Strange and awful dream. Angel is, well, an angel. Being tried in God’s court, for the sin of encouraging homosexuality. Penalty – to be cast out forever. Collins goes up, speaks of love. The Love he and Angel had, the love that went beyond sex, beyond physical things. It’s true. Other people get up, say good things. My turn. All I can think of to say is something from my drug rehab. Jesus saying “Even as you have done these things to the least of my children, you have done them to me”. Angel did unto the least of all people, as nobody else I’ve ever known. Maybe as nobody else ever could have. God looks stern, unhappy with Angel. Ready to pronounce judgment.

And then we wake up. Just a dream, but it makes me feel even worse. Try to talk about it with Mimi. She had a similar dream, but it’s just too uncomfortable to think about it. Not sure how Mimi’s feeling. Wish I had asked her.

Talking with Anita, Bernardo’s girlfriend, about the upcoming rumble. Was pretty strung out from Angel’s death and the dream, and said something about Mimi trying to get Maria to give it up. Forgot that Anita didn’t know. Anita pounced on it and I had to tell her about Tony. She was going to go give Tony a piece of her mind and tell Bernardo, and had to quick stop her, to remind her what Bernardo would surely do. Begged her to try to find some way to keep Tony and Maria apart, or something. She calmed down a bit and agreed that Bernardo couldn’t know.

Met Tony again. Told him what I knew. Asked him to please get out of this place, that he and Maria would never be safe until they were gone. He understood. Told him he had a future, like I didn’t, and he should just go and not look back until his kids were grown. That that was the best he could do for anybody who loved him and Maria. He promised to get out.

Took time to visit Bobby Strong at the barricades, where he had sort-of kidnapped his girlfriend Hope and was hoping that the UGC would negotiate with him to have free pee for all. Looked at the mass of police in the street and didn’t feel too sanguine about it, but shouted some slogans in solidarity before slipping away.

Heard that there was a porn tape with Mimi in it, and couldn’t let it alone, had to know who else was in the tape. Traced tape to Ambassador Molokoff. Told him that I needed to know, as a man, what was on the tape, and had nothing to offer otherwise. He said that he’d tell me since the tape was not important to him: Leon Patterson. Don’t know what crazy shit he’s mixed up in, but thanked him for the favor.

Saw a number of firemen shot to death right before my eyes by Coalhouse Walker and some other black men, who fled. Soon after approached by a black man who said Mr. Walker wanted to see me. Gave a safe conduct. Knew Walker was basically a righteous man, figured something must have provoked him beyond reason. Agreed to go, taken blindfolded to a secret place. Walker received me like a mob boss. He said that maybe I didn’t damage his venue, but unless I knew who did, he’d still expect me to pay. He asked to send the money to the foster parents of his son. I agreed and was led back out.

Met Tony. Tony showed me money he had raised – half a grand! He said Mimi had given Maria some money too. They were going to go far away, maybe California. I said how great that was, that he should go right away. He said he couldn’t yet – he had promised Riff. He had to stay until after the fight, but then they’d get the next bus. This might work.

Found Mimi again. We talked about the Jets-Sharks fight, and Tony and Maria. Both of us hoped it would work. Mimi said that she had made up her mind to quit drugs cold turkey tomorrow. I promise, she said. It’s all right, I said. Didn’t mean that I believed her. Meant that I forgave her, and that the drugs and the porn and everything didn’t matter anymore. Only she mattered. What I never thought could happen had happened. I loved Mimi. Not just wanted her, needed her: loved her. It felt good, but it made me really scared, and I held her tight. I have faith in you, I said. She said that nobody had ever said that to her before. You’ll always be the best in my book, I said. I’m yours, and you’ll never be alone. She’s so thin, and her breath is shorter than it used to be. So afraid.

Looked at my watch. Time to get down to the docks, had to see the fight. Place full of gangbangers. Things started with an argument – Bernardo wanted to fight Riff, but Riff said it was best fighter against best. So they started to fight, just fists. But there was something wrong. Tony was trying to break the fight up! Don’t know why. Everybody had agreed on this, but Tony was still trying to stop it. Somehow in there Bernardo got knocked down. He was angry as hell, came up with a switchblade. He went for Riff, who pulled his knife and the two went at it. Shit! Everything was going to hell, too fast, and nobody dared interfere. Hoped that one would just hurt the other, but suddenly Riff was down, stabbed hard in the gut. Bernardo looked at his knife – I think even he was surprised how fast it all happened, too fast to think, too fast to back down. Tony took one look at his dying friend, grabbed up the loose knife and stabbed Bernardo. I yelled, but it was over. Then we heard police whistles. Riff was dead, Bernardo was dead, everybody else was running. Got down there at least to get Bernardo’s body out so the cops wouldn’t get it, barely avoided getting arrested. Me and some sharks took him to the back room of the dress shop. Went to tell Mimi, but she must have heard from someone else. Saw her brother’s body, shrieked, lost it, threw herself down over him. Got down to put a hand on her shoulder.

She pushed me away.

She ran into the shop. Could hear her and Maria and probably Anita, all crazy with grief. Froze, numb, for a while, nobody came to get me. Opened the door and started to walk. Not paying much attention to where I was going. Angel dead, Bernardo dead, Riff dead, Tony gone who knows where, Mimi didn’t want me there. Was there anyone left who did? Did Mimi blame me somehow for this? Didn’t know. Couldn’t ask. Sat down in a gutter and tried to cry, but nothing would come.

Wandered in later on a street with flashing police lights. Found Maria. Tony was dead, killed by Chino. Sat down next to her. Wanted to see you two out of here so much, I said. She nodded. You two had a chance. Yes, she said. How is Mimi, I asked. She’s asleep, Maria said. She pushed me away, I said. She does that when she is afraid, Maria said. She’s dying, I said. Maria nodded. I love her and she’s going to die and I don’t know if she hates me now. She loves you, said Maria, she is just afraid. I looked at her. You’ve lost everything, I said. I’ve lost two good friends, but you’ve lost even more. Why aren’t you crying? I have no more tears, she said. I nodded. I put my arm around her and she put her arms around me. We didn’t talk after that.

Sunday

Didn’t sleep much that night. Woke up early, wrote out final script for Spectacular, Spectacular. Made sure it was racy enough for Zidler. Cliff liked it.

Saw Mimi. She looked wound up, tired, too thin, but beautiful. She smiled at me. I held her close. She said she was sorry, she just needed time with her family. After today, she said, we’ll start over. No drugs. We’ll get out of here, go someplace warmer. I’d like that, I said. She’s so pale.

Started the show. Zidler announcing like a champ. Opening sequence goes well, good audience reaction. Sally does Don’t Tell Mama, lots of Applause. Roxy sings Sparkling Diamonds.

Mimi dances. She’s amazing. Audience is eating it up. Graceful and sexy and funny, feels great. Mimi Finishes up number, leans against chair to catch her breath. She collapses.

Show stops. Rush over, she looks really bad. Hold her in my arms. She turns her head weakly towards me. Looks at me with those amazing eyes. Her lips move. No sound comes out, but I know what she is saying: I love you.

Realize, too late, that I was wrong about what I wanted to leave behind. It wasn’t a song on paper or a recording. It was a song in someone’s eyes, in Mimi’s eyes. I wanted to die knowing I had written a love song in her heart. [“Your Eyes”] Did she hear it? I don’t know.

        And you can tell everybody this is your song
        It may be quite simple, but, now that it’s done
        I hope you don’t mind
        I hope you don’t mind
        That I put down in the words…
        How wonderful life is
        Now you’re in…..the world.

And she dies.

[“Seasons of Love”]

Now they’re all gone. Angel, Tony, Bernardo, Riff, and Mimi. Maria and me have gotten a lot closer, our own little Life Support, unwilling survivors. She’s got such a good heart, and I figure if I can do anything for Mimi in whatever time I have left, it’s take care of her little sister. Soon, she’ll be the only one left. Tony and Maria should have been the ones to make it. Maybe Maria can make it one day. For all of us, but especially for Mimi, who gave me back my life even as hers was slipping away. Hope so.

[The End]

Rain

Lullaby of Broadway 2 - Roger Davis recap